Indiana Worker's Comp Law Revolutionizes Procedures for Slaves
(7/23/01- Diego Frenzy)
(Photo by I. Stoalit)
For the first time in its two-hundred year history, both the Indiana
State Senate and House of Representatives sided on a bill to allow slaves to bring
worker's compensation claims to ad judicatory sessions, refuting the age old claim that
the laws of the Midwestern land were prehistoric.
Developed in 1801 by three young Nordic butcher's apprentices, the Worker's Compensation
Code was structured on the laws of Hammurabi, which stated that injured indebted servants
could either be sent packing or fed to hordes of mongrel dogs. This practice is now
discouraged on grounds of hygenity. In 1993, the law took a drastic turn when it
recognized the basic human right of shelter and clothing.
Past medical practices consisted of early-morning flogging, facial branding, and
eventually payrolling for the government body itself, but the new millennium bill also
allows for remuneration in lieu of medical treatment.
Today's historic shift marks the first time workers rise from the class
of property to the class of humans, with full rights to claim children by their own
name. If at any time the workers are injured, they are allotted a few hours of rest