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Indiana Worker's Comp Law Revolutionizes Procedures for Slaves

(7/23/01- Diego Frenzy)

(Photo by I. Stoalit)

For the first time in its two-hundred year history, both the Indiana State Senate and House of Representatives sided on a bill to allow slaves to bring worker's compensation claims to ad judicatory sessions, refuting the age old claim that the laws of the Midwestern land were prehistoric.

Developed in 1801 by three young Nordic butcher's apprentices, the Worker's Compensation Code was structured on the laws of Hammurabi, which stated that injured indebted servants could either be sent packing or fed to hordes of mongrel dogs.  This practice is now discouraged on grounds of hygenity.  In 1993, the law took a drastic turn when it recognized the basic human right of shelter and clothing.

Past medical practices consisted of early-morning flogging, facial branding, and eventually payrolling for the government body itself, but the new millennium bill also allows for remuneration in lieu of medical treatment.

Today's historic shift marks the first time workers rise from the class of property to the class of humans, with full rights to claim children by their own name.  If at any time the workers are injured, they are allotted a few hours of rest to recuperate.

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Though the common working man of the present will not experience the benefits of the Focum-All Act, fourth generation offspring could, as the extended grandfather clauses would extend roughly three hundred years into the future.  By the end of 2577 the entire provisions will have taken effect.

For those who feel that justice delayed is justice denied, the move comes in too little, too late.
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