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In Other News

Obnoxious Boy Band Nsync Tours Third World  
(By 'Token Asian Correspondent' Julie Wong) (Photo by: I Stoalit)

NSYNC, on the heels of releasing their latest best seller "Celebrity", have announced a short 14 day tour of third world and developing nations. 

NSYNC's 'JC Chasez' explained the idea behind the tour: "We've extensively traveled the world in order to allow our fans to give us their hard earned money. We've essentially tapped the money available to pre and post-pubescent teens. We're now traveling to more naive countries looking to take four years of wages from families in order to allow their daughters to get a glimpse of the free market economy in action."

"We really consider ourselves ambassadors of the American way of life," Added the one dude that is Schtumping Brittany (Pickle) Spears.

However, Gladys Thedanajera, Director of Third World Economic Development for the Manhattan-based New World Corp. is strongly opposed to the planned NSYNC tour.

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"All they are doing is preying on poverty-stricken countries, pulling out the last pennies that these people have. It is a very unethical undertaking by these entertainers. Look, Bono is attempting to reduce world debt while NSYNC is attempting to further increase the indebtedness of these nations. I think the music industry owes it to itself to get its act together and help these people."

Responds NSYNC'er Lance Bass, "Our critics don't understand us. We're attempting to spread joy through music, dance, and haircuts to all corners of the world. If we simply donated to charities that would help these people, we wouldn't be able to do shows for them. And that's what's really important: Pinching every penny we can in the name of peace. Really. Peace."

NSYNC's first show of the "Third World, First Place" tour can be seen at the Sports Spectrum in Caye Caulker, Belize on September 27th. ---------- [ BACK ]


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