NOTE: Pictures of Man
Tits, and Butt Cleavage were omitted for your enjoyment.
Scientist Discovers Cleavage Axiom
(By Victor Somalia, PP, Golf Writer)
(Photo by I. Stoalit)
Old Al, Says,
Well Ain't dat a Mutha?
NEW DELHI, INDIA (PP) - After years of intensive study into the
mysteries of breast and buttock cleavage, scientists in New Delhi revealed today that
there is a hidden link between breast augmentation surgery and world hunger.
The so called "Quantity Theory of Boobies" has
sparked an international debate over the methods used to collect the data and formulate
New Dehli University School of Science chairman
Venkatachalamisha Radishkrakan is quoted as saying "the world is pissed because we
wrote the Karma Sutra and now we know more about titties than anyone."
The Quantity Theory of Boobies suggests that there is only
so much tit in the universe, and that breast augmentations rob the hungry of food by
utilizing space-time otherwise reserved for leeks and cabbages.
This theory has led to world scientists calling for
everything from the disbarring of breast augmentation surgeons world over, to the bombing
of New Delhi University School of Science.
Exhibitionist A: Standard Breast Size
Exhibitionist B: Clearly Could Help the Cause
Once feared and hated because of her breast size, Pamela
Lee Anderson had this to say: "I was once feared and hated. But I found that after my
breast reduction surgery I received several bags of mail from villagers all over the Sudan
peninsula. Apparently, I saved the lives of several small villages. Now I am worshipped
like a cow. Mayhem."
The American Society of Small Breasted Phillies spokeswoman,
Urea Taupe, retorted Anderson's statements at a National Anti-Auto-Show-Babe Conference
claiming Anderson had faked the reduction by instead enlarging her husband's penis and
then being seen only in pictures with the penis firmly implanted between her breasts. Urea
is quoted as saying: "Bitch." ------ [