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This Weak In Rock

(Photos by I. Stoalit)

Better Than Ezra, not living up to their claim, says some.
(7/23/01-Mike Hocksbent & Jesta Phareek)

College band 'Better than Ezra' first broke the scene some 5 years ago and have been gaining some popularity ever since. They have enjoyed reasonable success but recent developments may change all of that for the band - forever.

Ezra, namesake of the 15th book of the Bible's Old Testament, held a press conference last Thursday denying that a certain band was actually better than the Patriarch. "Upon review of the 5 year recording career of the poorly named 'Better Than Ezra', I have decided to come out and officially announce that they are not better than me."

The shocking appearance of the long-dead prophet led many to fall to their knees and/or speak in tongues. Ezra's attempts to calm the weeping media throng finally succeeded after a few minutes.

Better Than Ezra? is candidly shown here strutting there musical stuff at a recent show.

Lead singer Kevin Griffin said this about the show. "We rocked the house that night. Shakey's Pizza will never have that kinda crowd again. Dammit we rock!"

Ezra was surprisingly congenial and vivacious for a 3,300 year old. When asked why he decided to materialize on Earth a full 5 years after Better Than Ezra released their major label debut, the prophet answered "I was hoping they'd get better. I played a pretty rockin' lyre in my day, and I wanted to see if these boys could progress and actually surpass my musical skills. Alas, they have released 3 albums that haven't gone anywhere and I felt that my legacy was beginning to get tarnished."

Since Ezra's impromptu denouncement of the band they have 'Better Than Ezra' has been plagued by 'Old School' Ezra supporters, known as Ezraheads. This throng of unruly biblicists have disrupted recent shows, pelting band members with loaves of unleavened bread. Chanting, "You Blow, You Blow!", at every show.

When asked why Ezra could not prophecy the doom of Better Than Ezra and do something before it became too late, Ezra told the reporter to "Fuck off and leave the real prophecying to the professionals." Ezra then kicked this reporter firmly in the groin.

There was no immediate comment from 'Better Than Ezra's' publicist. --------- [ BACK ]


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