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In Other News

Eddie Murphy to Play Artist Jean Michel Basquiat in "Under Covers"

(7/23/01-Diego Frenzy)

(Photo by I. Stoalit)

Painstaking in attention to detail, Hollywood superstar and black cultural icon Eddie Murphy was chosen to play the lead role in a movie about the New York artist who died from a Warhol (Steve Martin) overdose years ago.

"To get ready for this role, I had all my teeth knocked out of my head, one by one," admitted Murphy, whose skull resembled that of the addict cum artiste.  "And then I had my skin pulled away from the frame of my body and muscular structures were added to my bones.  A Jamaican bobsledder was kind enough to organ donate his scalp to me, and here," Murphy fingered a massive dreadlock trailing to his shoulder. "Here is the prize.  I can make love with myself."

Three days ago Murphy showed up on the set, mumbling and incoherent, clutching a bargain-size bottle of Oxycontin.  The guards who beat him were eventually suspended without pay, but the actor did not seem to mind.  Close friends are concerned that the acute businessman may have changed, though few are reluctant to come forward and make assertions.  Murphy's mother was upbeat, even at news that her son had gone so far as to have breasts implants.

"Eddie is fooling," his mother was quoted as saying after a long Sunday morning Baptist church service.  "Washing his ass and taking the fool like his daddy always did.  Sometimes Eddie eats too much Taco Bell and just up and loses his mind."

Basquiat's fondness for primary colors is reflected in tattoos Murphy sported on his face: an orange dolphin, a ruby Exit sign, and a stark white tricorn.  Upon inquiry, Murphy demonstrated how he had done his own inking. The star seized Connie Chung by the throat during a live interview and inked on her chin a small map of mainland China.

"The story won't surprise you," Murphy later answered his critics cryptically.  "If you are shaky in the least in your converse with the beast, let the halo of the day pass you by." ----- [ BACK ]


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